No Free Lunch... Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Banners

Are you using adblocking software right now?  Are you?  Then fuck you.  Seriously, please, do me a favor and turn off the adblocking software on my site.  My Google ads are unobtrusive.  There are no pop ups, no annoying splashes, no full motion video.  And the ads are targeted, so they match the content of my posts... which, generally, means I get a lot about "restaurant deals" and "alcohol addiction treatment."

Google's Artist's Rendition of me.  I do not own a hat like that, Google.  Nice try.

Hey Man, I Got Some Good Shit Here...

This is Zynga:

Nothing says "good times" like a dog mascot that resembles Cujo.

If you don't know who Zynga is then... honestly, I just give up.  I mean, what do you want from me?  You obviously have access to the internet.  Have you not heard of Wikipedia, either?  Christ.  Anyway, don't confuse Zynga with Xanga, which is a website that specializes in blog publishing, similar to Blogger, but is completely inferior in every single way to Blogger, one of Google's many, many outstanding products (empty smile.)

And neither should be confused with "manga" a Japanese form revolving around the relationship between school girls and their pet octopi.

We're Receiving Conflicting Reports

I was working on a couple different entries yesterday.  Both got shelved at about 10 am this morning.

Let me start by stating the obvious.  I am not a real journalist.  I never went to J-School.  I've never written trite copy for some independent rag.  I've never toiled away a day, tracking down sources, rooting through public records, trying to get a story.  I've never been to Iraq.  I've never seen a disaster scene first hand.  I'm not that guy.  That guy is awesome, he's got some killer fucking boots.

Make Your Own Twitter Pun

I despise Twitter. This fact is hardly a secret. My basic criticism is that is serves no meaningful purpose in society. There is no niche it fills that was not already filled by superior forms of interweb medium.

As a social networking tool is is abysmal, inferior both to Facebook and that-service-that-shall-not-be-named-but-rhymes-with-Cry-Place. Those other services convey more information about the member, allow the member greater creative freedom, and support a wider variety of media.

As an information tool, it is redundant. Not only does it present little more information than mere headlines, but it provides so little latitude that even titles need to be abbreviated in some cases. So, any user who wishes to relay information must link to another site. This makes Twitter nothing more than a shell. A link depository. And, again, it provides no unique service. One can just as easily use Facebook or the-service-that-shall-not-be-named-but-rhymes-with-Try-Mace to post links or else the reader can simply subscribe to the millions upon millions of RSS feeds out there to receive headline links directly from the source.