ARG

Oh man.  It's Thursday isn't it?  Listen.  I had some alcohol last night.  And some wings.  And maybe more alcohol.  The bottom line is I don't have a post for you yet.  I AM SORRY.

I will have one before 5 pm today.  Pinky swear.  In the meantime, just, you know, try not to make any loud noises.

The House that Morons Built

Do you remember Barbara Garcia?  Probably not, but you remember her video that went viral.  Here she is with her... well... I won't spoil it if for some reason you haven't seen it:

It's a heart warming piece that her doggy best friend survived but, at the same time, it's also very sad because she didn't have insurance and now her and Bowzer are homeless.  Except, you see, they aren't.  Because the Fucking Internet built them a Fucking House.  That's right.  They just did it.  1,600 people, mostly strangers, just got together and built this woman a house.  Or, well, their money did at least.

Like a Real Fucking House

So why, I ask, is our government so awful?  Find out what a tornado and Congress have in common (just write in your own joke here in the meantime) after the jump.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fuck You

For those of you that don't know me that well, you might not realize that this is my favorite time of year.  I love Halloween.  I love it so much.  It's a holiday that revolves around horror and darkness and the macabre; which are all things I enjoy.  But it's also a holiday that embraces gluttony for all ages, be it of candy or booze or sexual debauchery.  And it's all perfect.  Because, in the end, it's the only holiday that's about individuality and creativity and the bizarre.  Halloween is perfect because, and I can't stress this enough, every person gets to make it how they want to.  Children get to make it a night of sugar and princesses and ninjas and excuses to stay up too late playing games.  Young adults get to make it a night of drinking with friends and homemade costumes and sex.  Older adults can make it a night of special food and snuggling around a TV to watch horror movies (and, hopefully still sex.) 

THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN.  It's the one night we get to be who we want to be and do what we want to do, young or old, rich or poor, it's the night we get to embrace fantasy and excess and it is glorious.

So why then do they keep trying to take it from us?  Anger after the jump.