THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN. It's the one night we get to be who we want to be and do what we want to do, young or old, rich or poor, it's the night we get to embrace fantasy and excess and it is glorious.
So why then do they keep trying to take it from us? Anger after the jump.
This is Jesus:
|You might know him from his roles in "The Bible" and "Jesus Christ Superstar"|
|I got nothing to add to this.|
And then, you have Easter. Which isn't even on a fixed date despite that fact that there is clearly an actual day in which Jesus was raised from the ground... or a cave... or something. Also, again, you'll notice that the range of possible Easter dates seems to correspond with the Vernal Equinox as well as planting periods. Also, you'll notice that it is full of eggs that hatch into bunnies.
|OR SOMETHING. What am I, a biologist?|
As such, Halloween, as most of us are probably aware but, if not, I just dropped some knowledge on your ass and your ass is welcome, is a Christian holiday. But Halloween is different, in kind, from the other two major Christian holidays. In both Easter and Christmas, Jesus won. We think of those primarily as religious holidays and, to the extent symbols like the yule and the eggs still exist, they have been consumed and made part of the Christian tradition. Halloween, though, was won by the secular. It is a non-denominational celebration through and through. And man. Does that piss Christians off.
|Though, to be fair, that's sort of their natural state.|
So fat, that now, we're in the middle of a War on Halloween. Now, I understand, this "war" isn't an ideological one, there is no vast church campaign that wants to destroy Halloween so Santa trumps Satan.
|Though there IS one to trump Santana, oddly enough.|
Join me in fighting against this war on Halloween. Go buy decorations for your office and home. Watch scary movies, play scary games, drink scary drinks. Tell your kids ghost stories and let them dress up in their costumes (or multiple different costumes) weeks before the primary day. Enjoy this holiday for everything it's worth. Let's keep Halloween the month-long festival that it deserves to be and the Christmas has been for centuries.
You'll have your time, Jesus. Let us have ours.