Wednesday, January 12, 2011

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Shit, I've really done it to myself this time.  I thought, hey, it's been a while since I've really written anything, it'd be fun to do that again.  You know.  A regular blog.  Try to get back to having a readership like I once did.  Maybe, you know, even make some money at it.  The thing is, writing is a full time job.  Hell, it's more than a full time job.  It's a 24/7 job.  I constantly have to be trying to think of new ideas, making notes, ensuring that creativity doesn't slip through my fingers.  I toil day in, day out, devising humorous things to say and topics worth commenting on.  It's a thankless, grueling task.  A burden that slowly crushes me every day.

We're kindred spirits, he and I.  I feel your pain, brother.  I feel your pain.

I know it SEEMS like I just regurgitate whatever nonsense passes through my head onto a keyboard and click a "publish" button.  But I actually care about my craft and I want to try to make insightful, intelligent, inscrutable, invasive, and incontinent posts.  I aspire to ascertain awesome amounts of appalling assonance (albeit avoiding alliteration.)  To find parallel structure. To use parallel structure. To reuse parallel structure.  You don't get to where I am in the world through mere luck, by just throwing a ton of random nonsense out and praying someone will like it.  No, it takes practice and patience.

And booze.  Lots of booze. Oh, and it helps if you place very little value on your own life.  And also, if you make many, many poor life decisions.

I know my last two posts have been political, but it is sort of hard to not be political when one of your state's Congressmen gets shot, your chief district judge and a little girl are killed and the national media starts its usual mindless, cannibalistic frenzy.  Truth is, it's hard to continuously write about any given subject matter, I've got a terrible case of ADHD and-- oh, hey, I'm going to go get some ice cream...

... what was I talking about?  Oh yeah, the toils of being a coal miner.  It's a horrendous job.  Marked by injury, crippling disease and gross maiming and disfigurement.  Most miners lived short lives and were lucky if they didn't lose limbs or suffer burns or premature aging from the gases and chemicals they were exposed to.

This poor woman is only 19 years old, but she looks over 25.
Still, not as strenuous of a job as writing.  Look, it's taken a lot of dedication to make this blog and this post a  reality.  I've had to give up valuable time to watch Lost or read Harry Potter.  I've had to risk life and limb, chancing a sprained finger from typing or a headache from staring at a computer screen.  Perhaps, most important of all, are the countless sacrifices I've had to make.  I won't bore you with all of them, but some have hurt me very deeply.

This Jack Daniels bottle, for example, had several good years ahead but was struck down in only a few nights.
The point is, don't expect me to be writing with any common theme or purpose.  Purpose is for suckers, people who actually still care about their lives and think that they mean something.  I don't have the dedication to keep spewing forth nonsense about the same topic over and over.  Sometimes, I feel like talking about politics.  Sometimes, I feel like talking about sports.  Sometimes I'll feel live reviewing movies.  And, on occasion, you may even get the random post about the ins and outs of horse husbandry.  There was a pun there, did you catch it?

This entry, for example, is about nothing.  Not, you know, in the Seinfeld sense where each episode had a plot that sort of rambled.  I am writing about literally nothing.  And you are reading it because, hell, it beats actual work.  Come to think of it, that's mostly why I wrote it, as well.  Although, conversely, it actually took a fair amount of effort to write this post so I sort of failed in my slacking.  Goddammit.

I lied, though, this post does have a purpose of sorts.  It's meant to break the flow of the prior two posts, to switch up from the political ranting of those into just general, insane, pointless ranting.  Consider it tension relief, a meaningless distraction to divert your mind from how quickly the world is going to Hell.

Which, BTW, is really, really quickly.
Speaking of which, Obama is talking at the University of Arizona today.  Addressing the tragedy, etc. etc.  I will not be attending, nor will there be much commentary on my blog about it.  I just figured I should note it because it is notable.  I'm more inclined to take a position of silent respect in regards to the people injured and killed this weekend.  I've intentionally avoided talking about the tragedy itself much because so many others have said better, more eloquent things than I could muster.  I prefer to not further muddy the waters with my own, lesser, expressions.  I hope to move on to other, more important subjects in the coming entries.  I'll throw in some short stories here and there.  Anecdotes and reviews as well.  And entries about technology, entertainment, sports, and, of course, the growing menace of bees and why you should be terrified of them.

Hint:  Because they'll fucking sting you, that's why.  Don't fuck with bees.

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