Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Moment of Silence...

Let us mourn the passing of my first Four Loko and reflect on the live he lived. First off, fuck him. The bastard. He cut me out of his will for a sassy blond 20-something he met at a singles mixer in boca. I took care of him for a decade and then he left everything to that slut. But I can't stay mad at him, that's just how 4-Lok rolled. He was a rebel. Lived for the moment. Combined drunken craziness wth energetic enthusiasm. I don't know that Four Loko lives up to the claim of "Cocaine in a can" but I think, before I bought it, 4-Lok was doing lines of coke off a hooker's ass.

As for how I feel. Not bad. Really, considering I just drank the equivalent of five beers (or a six pack of light beer) I'm surprisingly sober. I know it isn't my tolerance, which is pathetic at the ripe old age of 28. I suspect this may be the caffeine effect everyone is talking about. In theory, I should continue to not feel that buzzed and then crash in another couple of hours. Epic crash.

So, wait.... let me get this straight. I get to feel the loosening of morals from alcohol, but not the tiredness. Then, after partying for a couple hours, I get to just crash the fuck out and slip into sweet, drunken sleep?

I take that back, Four Loko, I loved you. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. Now, time to move on to your cousin, Watermelon...

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