Thursday, October 28, 2010

Second Impressions...

Again, the smell is intoxicating in a totally different way than the drink. Very nice, fake watermelon smell. It's almost refreshing. Once more, reminds a bit of jolly ranchers. This one, though, is actually an improvement over the Berry of Rasping. Lighter, fruitier, more of a real watermelon smell and less of a sugary mockery. Very enjoyable. Honestly, it sort of reminds me of a watermelon air freshener in its gentle breeze of odor. Now, for the first sip...

YESSIR. That is a Four Loko. No doubting that. Wow. This one is sooooooo much worse than the first. The gentle flavor of watermelon does nothing, repeat, NOTHING to aid in masking the horrendousness. Remember how I told you the first one had a pleasant favor when held in the front of the mouth? Well, Watermelon will have none of that pussy shit. This one is bad from beginning to end. If Raspberry is the abusive spouse, Watermelon is the... okay, this analogy will not end well. Let's just go with: Watermelon is a bad, bad man. The sip is met with a nasty concoction of sweetness and... I don't even know what the other flavor is. I don't have words for it. It's not even a cough syrup flavor, it is just wretched. Wretched and awful all rolled into one.

Then, after tasting that, I actually have to swallow it. This is hard. The whole point of taste buds is to alert my body to something that shouldn't be consumed. It is a toxic testing system. And every fiber of that system is going, "DON'T DO THIS." And I did. And I can already feel my body hating me. The back-of-the-throat taste is almost identical to the mouth one. So, I guess that is a minor relief. At least I know it can't get worse.

And this still hits my stomach like a sledgehammer.

Oh, and guess what. Chicken fat was a terrible idea. Jalapeno chips. Worse. So much worse. Heart burn is a cruel mistress.

Time for the chug. I now regret this endeavor...

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